Time for attachment
There are 2 seasons in my calendar.
One for breaking-up and one for getting hitched/married/attached.
Break Up Season starts in August and ends with the year. Hitch Season will start in the new year until beginning of July. After which there is a one month lull period for couples who are contemplating break up to actually do it come August.
Now of course we're in February, the month of LURVE. Friends around me are suddenly happily attached (again), with the girlish giggle at the mention of "my boyfriend". Then there's Lilin and her second baby, a boy this time! And of course a handful of people getting engaged, married or have gotten married in some part of the island. It's certainly a season for celebration.
The other day, an acquaintance started to drop the phrase "my husband" in our very casual conversation and I vaguely remembered there hadn't been the mention of that at all last year. We aren't that close friends, but we get along so it's no surprise I do not know of her engagement much less marriage.
"So how do you feel being married?" I asked her.
"The first night in our new flat, I cried! I wanted to go home to my mother's place. 28 years I've been living there and now I'm suddenly in a strange environment," she replied truthfully.
Which makes me wonder, is there really joy in marriage?
Another girlfriend who was there suggested to go shopping. And the just-wedded galfriend said, "Cannot la, now must support the home. Still paying for the flat. No money to even go honeymoon."
The liabilities and commitment of a union...
She looked at me very seriously and said, "You really must save to get married. It's very expensive. The flat renovation already about 20K..."
Erm..ok.
The other day, a doctor I went to started asking me weird questions about marriage and pregnancy. He wanted to find out if I'm someone who would get married and have babies. Sure why not?
"Imagine your figure will go haywire."
Erm...that's ok, I'll find a way to get it back.
"Okay....imagine a baby, who's head is so big (uses his hands to show me the size), squeezing out from your there...not scared ah?"
Err...of what? Isn't there suppose to be rather elastic?
"Hmm...okay...imagine you will have ugly stretch marks."
That's ok, I already have them anyway.
"Oh but that's different, it's really ugly, and ur skin will be loose and sagging, not scared ah?"
(Looks at him in a ridiculous way) No.
"Basket, didn't manage to scare you."
But of course all this was before the news about how this woman's pelvic bones were crushed from giving birth to her huge baby. Which reminds me very much of the book I just finished called "Pigtopia" by Kitty Fitzgerald. It's so good I think I'm going to read it again. In fact, I think schools should make this the new secondary literature text instead of her previous "Charlotte's Web".
Anyway, I digressed. It is quite intimidating, the idea of supporting a life in that tummy and the life commitment to it.
Urgh...all this pregnancy and giving birth talk is making me nauseous.
That very same day at my hairstylist salon, while I was having a hair treatment session, he started telling me about this place I should go for my honeymoon. And you know how expressive hairstylists can be, so he was just going on and on about this place in Papua New Guinea and what I can do with my husband there. When he left the room, the lady working on my head started giving me her own suggestions of where to go and then after a while she asked me, "End of the year ah?" I went like what? She asked, "You getting married end of the year?"
My head almost slipped back into the sink.
"TO WHO?"
Well, now you can imagine how EXPRESSIVE my hairstylist was to give her the wrong impression.
It's scary. Imagine if someone else was listening in to our conversation and misunderstood the way she did? Rumours will be rife of my secret engagement or something.
It is all a little too far-fetched for now. Honestly, it is a massive decision to make getting married and/or having babies, something which I am still quite intimidated by the thought of.
But then, as the just-wedded-galfriend said, after spilling the truth of her stress of marriage, "It's different when you're marrying someone you love la."
I guess so. I'll tell you when that happens.
One for breaking-up and one for getting hitched/married/attached.
Break Up Season starts in August and ends with the year. Hitch Season will start in the new year until beginning of July. After which there is a one month lull period for couples who are contemplating break up to actually do it come August.
Now of course we're in February, the month of LURVE. Friends around me are suddenly happily attached (again), with the girlish giggle at the mention of "my boyfriend". Then there's Lilin and her second baby, a boy this time! And of course a handful of people getting engaged, married or have gotten married in some part of the island. It's certainly a season for celebration.
The other day, an acquaintance started to drop the phrase "my husband" in our very casual conversation and I vaguely remembered there hadn't been the mention of that at all last year. We aren't that close friends, but we get along so it's no surprise I do not know of her engagement much less marriage.
"So how do you feel being married?" I asked her.
"The first night in our new flat, I cried! I wanted to go home to my mother's place. 28 years I've been living there and now I'm suddenly in a strange environment," she replied truthfully.
Which makes me wonder, is there really joy in marriage?
Another girlfriend who was there suggested to go shopping. And the just-wedded galfriend said, "Cannot la, now must support the home. Still paying for the flat. No money to even go honeymoon."
The liabilities and commitment of a union...
She looked at me very seriously and said, "You really must save to get married. It's very expensive. The flat renovation already about 20K..."
Erm..ok.
The other day, a doctor I went to started asking me weird questions about marriage and pregnancy. He wanted to find out if I'm someone who would get married and have babies. Sure why not?
"Imagine your figure will go haywire."
Erm...that's ok, I'll find a way to get it back.
"Okay....imagine a baby, who's head is so big (uses his hands to show me the size), squeezing out from your there...not scared ah?"
Err...of what? Isn't there suppose to be rather elastic?
"Hmm...okay...imagine you will have ugly stretch marks."
That's ok, I already have them anyway.
"Oh but that's different, it's really ugly, and ur skin will be loose and sagging, not scared ah?"
(Looks at him in a ridiculous way) No.
"Basket, didn't manage to scare you."
But of course all this was before the news about how this woman's pelvic bones were crushed from giving birth to her huge baby. Which reminds me very much of the book I just finished called "Pigtopia" by Kitty Fitzgerald. It's so good I think I'm going to read it again. In fact, I think schools should make this the new secondary literature text instead of her previous "Charlotte's Web".
Anyway, I digressed. It is quite intimidating, the idea of supporting a life in that tummy and the life commitment to it.
Urgh...all this pregnancy and giving birth talk is making me nauseous.
That very same day at my hairstylist salon, while I was having a hair treatment session, he started telling me about this place I should go for my honeymoon. And you know how expressive hairstylists can be, so he was just going on and on about this place in Papua New Guinea and what I can do with my husband there. When he left the room, the lady working on my head started giving me her own suggestions of where to go and then after a while she asked me, "End of the year ah?" I went like what? She asked, "You getting married end of the year?"
My head almost slipped back into the sink.
"TO WHO?"
Well, now you can imagine how EXPRESSIVE my hairstylist was to give her the wrong impression.
It's scary. Imagine if someone else was listening in to our conversation and misunderstood the way she did? Rumours will be rife of my secret engagement or something.
It is all a little too far-fetched for now. Honestly, it is a massive decision to make getting married and/or having babies, something which I am still quite intimidated by the thought of.
But then, as the just-wedded-galfriend said, after spilling the truth of her stress of marriage, "It's different when you're marrying someone you love la."
I guess so. I'll tell you when that happens.
posted by Me at 9:16 pm
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